PRUDENCE: A Key attribute in a God-given Wife

This brief note is inspired from RCCG’s Sunday school manual (2014-2015 edition), from the topic of 26^TH April 2015 – Knowing God’s will in marriage.

Proverbs 19:14 – “House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the LORD”

QUESTION: going by the passage above, would i be right if I came to the conclusion that possessing prudence (as an attribute) is a true test of a Godly woman when seeking out a wife?

WHAT IS PRUDENCE?

Making use of my phones dictionary as a source, I pulled out these definitions;

1.     Discretion in practical affairs

2.     Knowing how to avoid embarrassment or distress; discretion; discreetness; circumspection.

From the passage(Proverbs 19:14), we got one word; from the single word, we have now gotten a collection of words, that might help us gain clarity and better understanding of what to look out for in a desired wife as a Christian man.

Note Prior to this moment, I have always thought that prudence only applied to financial matters!

Now let’s look up another definition of the word “prudence” as gotten from dictionary.com;

·        Prudence as a Noun: the quality or fact of being prudent or wise in practical affairs as by providing for the future.

The above definition is so very rich! It says “wisdom in practical affairs”. This implies that she must be wise in handling daily occurrences that we often encounter (not just in words, but in deeds).

It further goes on to say “as by providing for the future.” That means she must be quite adept at planning. She should be one that is able to take pre-emptive measures in case of any eventuality in the future.

Dissecting the word “Prudence”

To do this, we go back to our start up definition and treat the other words we came across.

PRUDENCE: knowing how to avoid embarrassment or distress; discretion; discreetness; circumspection.

·        Being Circumspect:  Heedful of potential consequences. This implies that she evaluates before acting or making decisions. She makes sure to weigh the pros and cons!

·        Discreetness: Subtly skillful in handling of a situation; delicacy; diplomacy; finesse. The foregoing implies that she must be able to quell any brewing storm or conflict. She mustn’t be a person easily prone to brashness or easily angered. Essentially, we are looking at a PACIFIST here. A DOVISH fellow I must add. She must therefore have the ability to rein in her emotions rather than being controlled by them.

·        Discretion: The trait of judging wisely or objectively. Again, this points to the woman’s emotional stability. In order to be objective, one needs to be able to put emotions to one side, and properly weigh the issues at hand without being sentimental or otherwise swayed my emotional triggers.

Can this single word be the ultimate key in seeking out a Godly wife? That is the million dollar question.

Image from: http://www.textgiraffe.com/Prudence/

I LOVE GOD!!!!

I love God, I love heaven.

I am on earth, I have to live on this domain for a short while, but this is not my home neither is it my desire, but that doesn't take away from the fact that I still have to exist here and carry out His purpose for my life.

To fulfill His purpose and consequently inherit the heavenly kingdom as a joint heir with Christ and many brethren, I first have to live in this domain.

I live in this domain, therefore I need certain elements of this domain for survival and relative comfort, but that doesn't mean I Love them or I am consumed by a quest to acquire them.

My Love ultimately is the kingdom not seen, but that doesn't imply that I should cease to exist on this plane or cut short my preordained lifespan……

Since I have to exist here, I must make good use of my existence here, by living positively and doing His bidding....

Image Gotten from: https://www.wordans.com/dieu+designs

STAYING ON THE PATH

In this present world, it is very easy to be swayed away from God and His precepts. Our only help is to HOLD unto his truth (Word) and ask for the Holy Ghost to continuously help and direct us from going astray. The Holy Spirit is there also to help us not to succumb to the Pressures of this world.

Spiritually speaking, we need to “stay on” the path and stay faithful to God despite pressures from others.

Below is a paragraph written by Jennifer Benson Schuldt of Our Daily bread devotional on 30^th of October 2012.

Today, just as in ancient times, people and circumstances may prompt us to shift our loyalty away from God and His truth. Yet, with God’s help we can hold fast to the word of life (Philippians 2:16). If you feel pressured to enter a dangerous intersection of beliefs;

Ø  Study God’s word

Ø  Put on the armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-18)

Ø  Ask the Holy Spirit for help (I Corinthians 2:10-12)

Ø  Then standfast with your fellow believers in Christ

Image gotten from: http://www.prevention.com/mind-body/emotional-health/how-stay-healthy-path

RUTH – A MODEL IN THE FAITH (Part 2 – Chapter 3 & 4)

v  Honor your Parents & Elders

One of the 10 commandments given to Moses was for us to honor our parents. In this instance though, Naomi wasn’t Ruth’s biological parent, but she became so by virtue of the bond formed between them.

One folly of youths these days is their penchant for disregarding the counsel of elders. We often equate intelligence for wisdom. Certain wisdom - I have discovered – is only gotten from a degree of experience which we don’t possess at a certain age. Tapping from the experience of the elders is highly profitable.

There are certain things that we might not understand, but once we’re clear that God has put us under a particular individuals’ (or group of individuals) care – be it mentor, parent or otherwise – and that the instruction given doesn’t go against God’s precepts; then we sometimes need to accept it as it is.

Ruth was instructed by Naomi in Chapter 3 Verse 1 – 4. Let’s read Ruth’s response;

⁵ and she said unto her, all that thou sayest unto me I will do.

Notice something; she (Ruth) didn’t question Naomi for a moment, because she already knew that Naomi had her best interest at heart and that God had placed Naomi on her path as a guide. We should learn to do this sometimes!

v  Do away with procrastination

Is it any wonder that Boaz was a successful man? Reading verse 18 of Chapter 3; we realize that Boaz was a man who got things done as soon as possible. It certainly feels like he was a man averse to procrastination, at least judging by the testimony of Naomi concerning the man in the stated verse.

v  Do what is right even if it seems like it is not to your favor

We often times bandy around the word “righteousness” without fully grasping its true meaning. Simply put, Righteousness dictates that we do the right things always.

Boaz would have obviously preferred that Ruth be married to him, but he nevertheless insisted on doing the right thing by first presenting the opportunity to the man who was more entitled than him (Chapter 3 verse 12). He set about doing this in Verse 1-6 of Chapter 4.

v  Your way of life can be a source of blessing to your offspring

In Chapter 4 Verse 14 -15, we see how the women pronounced blessings upon Obed due to the kind of person his mother (Ruth) was. This goes to show that it is profitable (not only to you) to live an exemplary, God-fearing life.

Image gotten from: http://www.lookandlearn.com/blog/2847/ruth-gleaning-barley-in-the-field-of-boaz/

RUTH – A MODEL IN THE FAITH (Part 1 – Chapter 1 & 2)

This write-up is the drawn out from the life of Ruth the daughter-in-law of Naomi as seen in the book of Ruth. Some lessons which I was personally able to draw out are written below. These are areas which we should as well strive to improve in our daily walk with Christ.

v  Lesson One: Strive to be a man/woman of your word!

Ruth made a sort of vow/promise to Naomi her mother-in-law in verse 16 – 17 of Chapter 1, and I’m certain that as I read through to the end of this book in the bible, I will find out that she upheld her promise.

One common thing I have noticed with the people of old, is their penchant for holding their words as their bonds. This is one attribute that seems to have deserted us. We need to re-learn this as a matter of urgency.

Prayer Point: Dear father, help me be a man/woman of my word, help me speak/promise only that which I will be able to do and which also falls in your Will for my life in Jesus name

v  Lesson Two: Loyalty does not go Unrewarded/Unnoticed.

Another trait that seems to be very scarce to the modern man is LOYALTY!

This is a trait that dictates you sticking around through thick and thin. The evidence of the lack of this trait/attribute abounds everywhere;

ü  Increase in the rate of divorce

ü  Church-Jumping Christians in search of quick miracles due to impatience

ü  Fair-weather friends

ü  Even political sycophants, as seen even in the Nigerian polity.

The beauty of this trait is that, though loyal acts usually seem to go unnoticed, they are actually never unrewarded. The one who matters takes notice. Therefore in due course, the act will soon be rewarded (by Him), as long as it was for a just cause.

You will notice that Ruth’s ACT of loyalty seemed to have only been between the two of them, news soon spread about this to Boaz, who duly favored her in no small measure (Chapter 2 Verse 11-12).

v  Lesson Three: Persistence pays

Ruth’s persistence as against Orpah’s  ‘quick-to-back-down’ disposition ensured that she got a passage into the fold of God’s chosen people. This is a great lesson for us believers, that though the world we’ve left behind when we accepted Christ might seem alluring, and all Logic might even point to the former life as a better option (Just as Naomi was trying to point out to her daughter’s-in-law), we must persevere and adhere to our initial commitment to forsake the old life and embrace the new life in Christ Jesus. Chapter 1 Verse 18 captures this.

v  Lesson Four: To reap doubly, your input is actually first required.

Ruth will probably not have come across her benefactor Boaz had she not opted to go out and work.

Without prompting, Ruth opted to go out and set about toiling, and that brought her to her place of favor.

To enter into our place of favor, we actually need to take a step – a step of faith you might say.

NOTE

The word enter in itself, is a verb that connotes movement of some sort. So you actually need to start “doing” and stop “idling”.

ü  God rewards us by enabling us eat of the “fruits of our labor”

ü  God is a God of Miracle and not a magician. He has set-out certain laws to govern the earth, and he honors such himself. One of such goes thus; in order to reap you must sow.

What God now does, is to set about multiplying your effort and giving you a bountiful harvest.

v  Lesson Five: Learn to be kind.

Boaz, as depicted in Chapter 2 must have been a kind-hearted fellow, who genuinely cared for the plight of others. It is not a surprise therefore, that they (Ruth and Boaz) happened to be in the family tree of our Lord and savior Jesus Christ.

Christ Jesus as seen in the scripture remained eternally loyal to God. Philippians 2: 6-7 aptly captures this; “who being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God

⁷But made himself of no reputation and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men:”

Secondly, there has and never will be a greater Love and sacrifice as that of Christ.

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that individuals (Ruth and Boaz) who possessed such key traits as seen in Christ’s ministry happened to be in His bloodline.

Rather than our usual prayer of asking God to grant us favor with men and prayers for people to show us mercy, kindness and Love; why don’t we pray the following prayer for a change:

Father Lord, help me see the needs of those around me and grant me a loving and compassionate heart that I may go out of my way to grant them succor. Grant me the heart of Christ o’ Lord in Jesus name I pray.

Image from: http://www.truli.com/taxonomy/term/1081/en

EQUAL AND OPPOSITE

Sir Isaac Newton was right on so many levels when he stated one of the Laws of motion thus, “for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction”.

In essence the above implies that you give out in equal (measure) to what you receive! Opposite here implying that though they (action and reaction) are of equal measure, the receiver becomes the source (or giver, if I might put it that way).

Hate received results in hate given out, except a LOVE which supersedes the hate has already been received.

If you doubt the assertion above, I urge you to carefully look into most cases of abuse – child molesters, rapist and the likes. You will quickly realize the perpetrators were once victims of some kind of abuse or traumatic event in time past.

I have often wondered why people who have been cheated on (in relationships) in time past end up doing the same to another partner later on, despite experiencing the hurt that comes from that! It is quite fascinating.

A house struck by lightning will in turn give out the electricity to the detriment and destruction of appliances in the house and possibly residents of the said building.

Flowing from the last paragraph, you will note that a house with a lightning arrestor will simply diffuse the electricity into the ground, thus preserving everything within the building.

When you meet Christ and experience His love, he becomes your LIGHTNING ARRESTOR. His love is infinite so No amount of hate can negate from his Love.

N:B – Mathematically speaking, subtracting any finite number from infinity still gives you infinity. Once you’ve genuinely and truly experienced His love, you become only capable of giving out love.

The scripture says by their fruit we shall know them! (Matthew 7: 15 - 20).

Any believer that gives off anything other than love even to His enemies hasn’t truly experienced the Love of Christ.

No wonder Christ says in Matthew 5:44; “But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you”. He also says in Mark 12:31; “And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.”

In essence, we can now say that the Love of Christ entrenched in us helps us live above the law of equal and opposite, in the context of subject matter as discussed in this article.

Written on: 25/11/2013

Image gotten from: http://theimentor.com/theiMentor/Blog/Entries/2014/1/18_Cause_and_Effect.html

PICKING A LOCAL CHURCH

Sticking to a particular ministry/denomination at all cost isn’t what is paramount in the Christian race!

God is very interested in us all making heaven. One should not discount from loyalty and obedience as important keys to a successful Christian journey, they are quite important indeed.

In choosing a local church, what we should be on the lookout for is actually the SPIRIT that operates in such a church; irrespective of the denomination it belongs to!

A ministry could have been started under God’s direction, but the leadership of a particular branch could be under the influence of dark forces at a particular time. Does that mean you should stick to the denomination – by going to that branch – just because there is no other branch in sight? That is certainly not the loyalty that God is on the lookout for.

Perception and discernment are very essential and (ultimately) indispensable tools in seeking out a local church, because we need to understand and know the spirit that operates in such a church.

Loyalty to the kingdom is of essence, but sticking to a denomination at all cost even in such a circumstance as mentioned above is actually disloyalty to the kingdom.

Finding a local church that is under the influence of the Holy Spirit should always be foremost in our search for a local church.

PRAY FOR:

1.       The spirit of discernment to know the spirit that operates in the leaders of a church and in that church.

2.       Ask for God’s direction in picking a church.

Written on: 22/12/2013

Image gotten from: http://www.woodhouseclosechurch.org/