DEALING WITH THE CRITICAL NATURE

Matthew Chapter 7 Verse 1-3:   ¹Judge not that ye be not judged. ²For with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. ³And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?

John Chapter 3 Verse 17: For God sent not his son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world

through him might be saved.

John Chapter 12 Verse 47:  For if any man hear my words, and believe not, I judge him not: for I came not to judge the world, but to save the world.

1 Corinthians Chapter 6 Verse 2-4:  ²Do ye not know that the saints shall judge the world? And if the world shall be judged by you, are ye unworthy to judge the smallest matters? ³Know ye not that we shall judge angels? How much more things that pertain to this life? ⁴If then ye have judgements of things pertaining to this life, set them to judge who are least esteemed in the church.

Having read through the above quoted scriptures, one might say the fourth (last) scripture quoted looks out of place with rest and possibly opposes/negates the message being pushed forward by the first three scriptural texts. Upon deliberate study and meditation on the scriptures, it is clear that this is not so! And this is part of the reasons for this article. May the Holy Spirit grant us understanding of God’s word in Jesus name (Amen!!!).

Now, going back to the title of this article and in particular the bolded word therein: CRITICAL. Critical in the context of this article is in reference to the negative aspect of this tendency in the quintessential reality, both in Christendom and outside of it, but with more emphasis on the brethren within the faith. The critical nature referred to in the context of this article borders on (but it is not limited to) cynicism which itself exudes (or gives out) a negative energy.

The key difference between the first three scriptures above and the fourth one, is the nature of the judgement being doled out. Apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 6:2-4, was referring to a good type of judgement. This type of judgement is one that aims to correct, and brings about a CONVICTION towards a wrong-doing. This type of judgement brings about a positive change in lives, and thus, this is not the focus of our discourse in this article. On the other hand, the first three scriptures point at judgement that tends towards condemnation and is thus accusatory in nature. This type of judgement is often tailored towards putting down others. It is often borne out things like self-righteousness, hate, pride, and generally things that are not part of the fruit of the Spirit. This judgement is often self-serving. The sort of judgement apostle Paul refers to in the fourth scripture quoted above, is borne out of Love: Love for God, Love for the Kingdom, and Love for the brethren. The focal point of this type of judgement is the three fold ministry assignment (with reference to RCCG digging deep manual 501 - 600, page 7, the army of the Lord part 2) namely; Ministry to God, ministry to the brethren and ministry to the world. This type of judgement is sacrificial in that;

1. It serves God’s interest rather than our interest by promoting his ideals and will over ours

2. It serves the interest of the brethren, by promoting positive change in their lives towards re-aligning them with God and strengthening their standing in Christ, rather than putting ourselves in the good books of particular individuals possibly for recognition and favours.

3. It serves the world, by setting a positive example of how we were/are intended to live (from the onset) in God’s master plan, thus, it serves to draw them into the fold.

The devil is the accuser of the brethren (Revelation Chapter 12 Verse 10). Criticism and judgemental tendencies are his tasks-at-hand. Imbibing such is carrying out his mandate and bidding, thus, making one possibly his agent (though unwittingly in most cases).

David’s life will give us further insight into this subject matter. We will take a look at his life, first as a follower/subordinate and then as a Leader.

AS A SUBORDINATE/FOLLOWER

He never criticised his leaders, namely; King Saul, even though he had cause to. No wonder the scripture admonishes us to pray for those that are in authority (1 Timothy Chapter 2 Verse 1-2). It is interesting to see David’s response to Saul upon Saul’s attempt on his life in 1 Samuel 24. Paying attention to verse 9 – 16, we see David’s direct utterance to Saul. He depicted the kind of judgement in 1 Corinthians 6:2-4 and in verse 16 we clearly see that Saul was pricked in his heart and he realised his wrongdoing. A lot doesn’t need to be said about what transpired between David and King Saul. Reading through 1 Samuel Chapter 24 – 28 will give a clear understanding of this.

AS A LEADER

David as leader wasn’t critical rather he offered correction where the need arose. A clear case of this can be seen in 1 Samuel Chapter 30 Verse 16 – 31. His response to the men who felt that those who remained behind in the battle against the Amalekites shouldn’t partake in the sharing of the spoils, is a clear example of what is being discussed here.

1 Samuel 30 verse 23-24: ²³ then said David, ye shall not do so my brethren, with that which the Lord hath given us, who hath preserved us, and delivered the company that came against us into our hand. ²⁴ For who will hearken unto you in this matter? But as his part is that goeth down to the battle, so shall his part be that tarrieth by the stuff: they shall part alike.

The tone and intent with which the message was passed is clear to see. He didn’t do it out of high-handedness and he made sure they all saw the reason behind his choice.

The fruits of the critical nature are murmuring, back-biting, gossiping, sarcasm and the likes. One of the fruits borne out of LOVE is CORRECTION, for whom you love you correct. Correction is supportive, understanding and patient.

We should also take a cue from Jesus’ style.

The story of Jesus and Zacchaeus (Luke 19:1-10) as well as that of Jesus and the Samaritan woman (John 4:1-42) are prime examples of what is really expected from us as believers on this issue of judgement. What would have happened if Christ had gone all out condemning is best left to the imagination. Jesus never condemned them nor rubbed their misdeeds in their face, but at the end they were convicted of their misdeeds.

How do we do away with this nature?

1.       Watching our Conversation:  I Corinthians chapter 15 verse 33 – Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.

Communication these days transcends one on one conversation, it as well includes the kind of information from the news outlets and media (both conventional and social media) platforms, musicals and the likes. The issue of condemnation and critical tendencies has become the trend everywhere, and it becomes quite easy to get sucked into this trend. As a result, we now – more than ever – have to be very circumspect in our reactions and what we act upon as well as being overly selective on what we let in. to a large extent, we need to withdraw ourselves from the negative influences.

2.       Modelling Ourselves after Positive Biblical Characters: The bible is filled with numerous role models after which we can model ourselves. It is a given that we need not look beyond these biblical champions of our Faith starting from Abraham, David, Daniel, Jesus, Peter and numerous others. Taking a deliberate study of their lives and how they went about issues of the Faith will provide us with a navigational guide.

3.       Be slow to speak: We need to constantly evaluate our words before they are spoken. Start evaluating each word carefully before speaking. The scripture says in Matthew Chapter 15 verse 11: Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man; but that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man. The tongue is a little member of the body, but if bridled, the entire body will put under control (James 3:2).

4.       Pray for Empathy: Empathy, enables us to put ourselves in the shoes of others and consider the circumstances that led them to where they are. It helps us get a glimpse of what and how they are feeling.

Note: Empathy doesn’t lead us into endorsing or justifying their actions but rather, it leads us into helping them from a standpoint of understanding rather than high-handedness or self-righteousness.

In all, we need to come to the realization of the uniqueness and individuality of every one. We should thus, avoid comparison and embrace uniqueness. We need to consciously resist the urge to criticize and overtime it will become natural.

We also need to limit ourselves to facts and certainties. Try as much as possible to do away with assumptions, presumptions and second-guessing.

This article is by no means exhaustive, and additional input, in form of contributions and corrections will be greatly appreciated. Thanks and God bless us all!!!!

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A VIEW ON LEADERSHIP

Leadership and the dearth of quality leaders in modern times is an area of great concern. The world needs quality leaders, the church is in need of great leaders. Leaders like Moses, David, and Abraham Lincoln. We often find ourselves settling for “the lesser of two evil” when seeking out leaders nowadays.

The truth is that, we have all assumed (or will one day assume) a leadership role in one capacity or the other at a certain point in time, some to lesser degree. Leadership is not the sole reserve of those placed in charge of a team or group. There are subtle leadership roles within a team or group just as there are distinct and more obvious ones. Having the capacity to spur others on a given path in order to fulfill the given mandate is leadership. A leader doesn’t imply an authoritarian or dictator!  A leader inspires and motivates. A leader doesn’t have to be always right. Moses in the bible grew into leadership. He kept evolving in leading the Israelite. For instance, Moses wasn’t a delegator initially, but he later learnt that acting in so many roles wasn’t effective leadership.

As a leader within your team or group, you need to be able to convince them of the suitability of your ideas, over theirs by presenting superior arguments without, exuding an air of superiority over them.

In the case where their arguments make better sense than yours, you buy into theirs after critical analysis and proper assessment as a collective unit.

As I said in a prior article:

“Life is seen in different ways by different people. The Perspective in which we see things defines our understanding of such; being able to rationalize things from others perspective creates mutual respect. You don’t necessarily need to accept an individual’s outlook. Merely seeing things from their standpoint is sufficient.”

In reference to the quote above, I am saying a modern leader should go a step ahead by logically and systematically going over the views  of others to the extent of wholly adopting or tinkering, adapting and incorporating  them with the skeletal  framework of the initial plan to actualize or execute the teams’ given mandate.

Sustained loyalty as against ephemeral loyalty (more-or-less sycophancy) can only be fostered through trust, which is a by-product of a bond that can only be created when all persons within the team view the mandate or set objectives/goals of the team as their personal duties (which they are obliged to fulfill), as against seeing it as the objectives of the leader or team lead. In essence everyone within the team is a leader. Different strengths and personalities only suggest that different (leadership) roles exist within the team.

A sure way to make anyone buy into another’s idea as his/hers, is to grant him/her the sense that he/she has played a role in the birth and formation of the strategy/idea.

As believers, we are called to be leaders. Leaders of Souls to Christ and ultimately heaven! I consider a believer to automatically be a leader. We are the light of the world, a city set upon the hill (Matthew Chapter 5 Verse 14). Just as a lighthouse serves as navigational aid to ships, so also are we called to do for the world.

There are certain skills we need to adopt, just are as there are certain tendencies we need to do away with as leaders/believers.

A believer’s ability to empathise and come to a good understanding of the peculiarities that are akin to an individual or group of individuals is an essential skill/gift required for soul-winning.

Our tendency to out rightly condemn others is a NEGATIVE habit that ought to be expunged from our consciousness as believers.

Christ, as our ultimate leadership model, didn’t come to condemn us, but to give us the way to total liberation and freedom from sin (John Chapter 3 Verse 17).

Our duties as believers should be to condemn sin and not men; for God loves even the sinner but he detests sin.

A key moment in Apostle Paul’s ministry will help us come to a better understanding of this concept (condemn the sin and not the sinner). Paul in Athens (Acts Chapter 17, especially from Verse 22 down) didn’t condemn the Athenians (the Areopagus) but rather their belief system, and he further went on to appeal to them even making use of their false belief to build His message.

Be the leader the world so greatly needs!

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TAKE PRIDE IN YOUR DIFFERENCE

In this present world, people are often derided for being different from popular expectations and norm. The scripture in Romans Chapter 12 Verse 2 admonishes us not to conform to the world and it’s standards.

Jesus in John Chapter 15 verse 18 already foreknew this and specifically forewarned us that we would be hated by the world just as they hated him for no just cause.

2 Corinthians Chapter 4 Verse 7 – 9 says;

“But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us.

⁸ we are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair;

⁹ Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down but not destroyed.”

Just as believers are different from the world, so also is every man different from every other man. In the world today it is quite difficult being your own person. Trying to do so often lands one with various tags, such as bookworm, weirdo, nerd, geek, and the likes. This has often led to bullying.

The scripture above says we have this treasure in earthen vessels. This clearly implies (in my opinion) that we have been imbued with something within us. We are individually uniquely gifted and ‘Graced’. The Grace on each individual’s life differs, implying that we are special in specific areas.

We should never allow people’s opposition to your person weigh you down and stop you from manifesting God’s unique Grace on your life.

FACT:  the earth is the only planet in our solar system that can sustain life. WHY? This is so because the earth is different! Scientists credit the tectonic plates on earth for this. As it so happens, only earth possesses these plates. This shows that the Earth made use of its difference (uniqueness) to STANDOUT!

So today, why don’t you as well, take PRIDE in your difference and use it to STANDOUT, and thus enabling you become a focal /reference point.

The bible says in Matthew Chapter 5 verse 16: Let your light so shine before men….

 But I will like to phrase it thus way: Let your Grace so shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify your father which is in heaven.

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REPENTANCE VERSUS REGRET

Repentance and regret are terms which are often misrepresented interchangeably – one for another. The words, though, are very much alike when looking at them superficially, but on taking a deeper look into the words and their applications, as well as taking scriptural consideration, you will realize that a difference does abound.

In the Christian Faith, Repentance is of utmost importance. It is so relevant that there are numerous mentions of the word in the scriptures.

It is a fact, that there is no Christianity without repentance! Infact, no man/woman is born a Christian. I state this as a fact because the scripture says as much. Turning to the book of Romans Chapter 5 verse 12 we can see this;

“wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; so death passed upon all men, for that all men have sinned:”

Romans Chapter 3 verse 23 further highlights this fact;

“For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God”

It is due to this fact that Christ said to Nicodemus in John Chapter 3 verse 3;

“…… verily; verily, I say unto thee, except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God”

The above scripture brings us to a definition of repentance. Repentance is all about casting away your old lifestyle, your old person and assuming a new you. This is aptly captured in 2 Corinthians Chapter 5 verses 17;

“Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.”

Let’s now highlight some contrast between repentance and regret:

Ø  Repentance is borne out of genuine conviction about the “wrongness” (permit me to say) of ones actions (or lifestyle as a whole), irrespective of the results obtained from the deed (be it positive or negative). Zaccheus for instance seemingly reaped a positive result from his negative lifestyle, but repented when he got convicted that he needed to change. No one prompted him, neither was he charged to do so by a court of law. Regret on the other hand is borne out of ill consequences or boomerang effect of our negative actions (or lifestyle) and not because of the action itself. We regret taking a course of action because it landed us where we did not want to be. If it hadn’t backfired but yielded the desired results we probably would continue in that way of life. Take for instance, armed robbers and criminals who get caught by the law enforcement agencies. One thing most of them have in common is that they express regret for indulging in such acts, often times resorting to blaming the devil for their crimes. If they hadn’t been caught in the first place, they would still keep on engaging in the act.

Ø  Repentance gives you a way forward (to the future) while regret keeps you trapped and entangled in the past. Judas Iscariot who betrayed Jesus regretted his action and ended up hanging himself, while Peter on the other hand initially felt regret but eventually repented!

Summarily, we should realize that regret will only keep us in a cycle of self-condemnation, while repentance will lead us to salvation brought about by the Grace of our Lord Jesus Christ. Christ said he didn’t come to condemn us, which implies that we shouldn’t also engage in beating up ourselves. What he expects of us is to genuinely cast aside every lifestyle that is against the precepts and ordinance of God.

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THE VALLEY MOMENTS

The word valley (according to English Dictionary for Windows Phone) literally refers to “a long depression in the surface of the land that usually contains a river”

The valley moments stated here is a figurative expression of the word. Life as was once remarked by a singer is like an ocean; sometimes it can be calm (and peaceful) and at other times it can be devastatingly turbulent. Just like the ocean, different phases abound in the life of all men. The bible says as much in the book of Ecclesiastes Chapter 3 Verse 1:

“To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven”.

Man has a natural tendency to desire comfort at all times. We as believers often pray that we should never experience these ‘valley moments’. The truth is that these moments are inevitable! As sure as the sun will rise in the morning and the moon at nightfall is, so also are these moments.

One of the greatest apostles of the faith - Paul - urged his protégé; Timothy, in the book of second Timothy Chapter 4 verse 2; to be instant in season and out of season. This clearly displays that Paul was not oblivious to this fact. He knew for sure, that Timothy (as every other man) was bound to encounter this moments.

The fact that one lives a good, righteous and Godly life by all standards does not exempt you from passing through these moments. In fact both the; just and the unjust, the righteous and unrighteous, the Godly and ungodly, will experience good seasons and bad seasons. This is clearly spelt out by Jesus in the book of Matthew Chapter 5 Verse 45:

“That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and the unjust”

The simple fact that you exists on this earth means that you are dead certain to encounter these moments!  

By praying against this moments coming, I daresay that we are praying amiss! This might be a bitter pill to swallow, to me inclusive (I must confess), but nevertheless it remains the truth.

Now, let’s see the assurances we are given in the scriptures when we encounter these moments. The book of Isaiah Chapter 43 verse 2 says:

“When thou passeth through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee.”

Notice how this scripture says “when” and not “if”. It implies that though we are certain to encounter this moments, he will not only be with us, but he will also ensure that we will come out triumphant and unscathed. Apostle Paul reaffirmed this in Romans Chapter 8 verse 37:

“Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us”

Again the scripture says in the latter part of Psalms 30 Verse 5:                                 

“Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning”

There is light at the end of the tunnel. In fact a brighter light awaits us at the end of the tunnel than that we first encountered before we entered the dark moment. We can see this from the life of Job. After Job’s valley moment he was blessed beyond what he had before he went into that moment, Job Chapter 42 Verse 12:

“So the Lord blessed the latter end of Job than his beginning: for he had fourteen thousand sheep, and six thousand camels, and a thousand yoke of oxen, and a thousand she asses.”

Still in doubt? Then let’s read Ecclesiastes Chapter 7 Verse 8:

“Better is the end of a thing than the beginning thereof: and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit.”

David says in Psalms 23 verse 4:

“Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort”

This came from the mouth of a man I consider an authority on this subject matter. Let’s take a brief look at David’s life. Firstly he started off as somewhat of an outcast in his family. Even his father didn’t consider him worthy of greatness as seen in First Samuel Chapter 16, where Prophet Samuel was directed by God to go and anoint the next King from the house of Jesse. Jesse his father didn’t even line him up amongst his sons to be considered for the position, in fact he had written him off. In my book, that counts as valley moment.

Despite David’s faithful and diligent service to King Saul, he still considered him an enemy to be done away with and even sought to end his life. David was rendered an outcast for the second time in his life, this time an outcast from the entire kingdom of Israel (I Samuel Chapter 24). This was another valley moment.

Even when David was in exile, the Amalekites raided his camp at Ziklag and carted away with he and his men’s wives and possessions (I Samuel Chapter 30). This was yet still another valley moment.

Still, when David was even on the throne, his son (Absalom) usurped his power, overthrew his government and had carnal knowledge of his wives (II Samuel Chapter 15). Another valley moment.

Despite all these events, David still maintained his Faith, believe and trust in God. He came out more than a conqueror.

What am I saying in essence? Though we will encounter these moments, but as believers, God will turn our valley of trouble into a door of hope. Hosea Chapter 2 Verse 15:

“And I will give her vineyard thence, and the valley of Achor for a door of hope: and she shall sing there, as in the days of her youth, and as the day when she came up out of the land of Egypt.”

One might be tempted to ask why we even need to pass through these moments. But a simple quote (not from the bible) goes thus, “what will not kill you, will only make you stronger.” It follows that since we have been assured that we will come out victorious and unhurt, then it remains sure that these moments are only there to bring out a better and stronger ‘us’.

Our prayers as believers should go thus:

1.       Father turn the valley of Achor into a door of hope for me (Hosea 2:15)

1.       Father when I’m in the valley, be with me and comfort me (Psalm 23:4)

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THE MESSAGE THERE-IN

Biblical genealogies are areas of the scripture which most believers (I especially) often overlook. I often think that no insight or real lessons other family histories/trees can be extracted. Upon listening to Matthew 1 (from the bible experience audio), I realized that I couldn’t be farther from the truth.

I have read through it a couple of times, or should I rather say that I have taken a couple of cursory looks through that chapter in time past; and honestly, it simply bored me out, and I quite often drift off (mentally) while reading through such scriptures. On listening to it being read out, new insights just kept flooding in, and now I realize that I should have taken more than just a cursory look into scriptures such as this.

Romans 10:17 says: “so then Faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God”                         NIV puts it this way: “Consequently, Faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word about Christ”

The scripture above looks pretty straight forward at first glance, but I feel it’s much deeper than it looks.

What is ‘the message’ being referred to above?

I feel the Holyspirit ministers’ messages into our hearts and soul; but how do we truly hear what he speaks?

When we read or hear (listen to) the word (about) of Christ – that is the scripture – then the message comes loud and clear to us. Christianity is Faith-based and the scripture says as much in Hebrews 11:6;

“But without Faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that e is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.”

Pleasing God is our mandate as Christians (Matthew 22:36-37). If we can’t please him, then we have failed. Faith is not an option, but a must to all believers.

For us to build our faith, we must “hear the message” from the Holyspirit. To hear this message, the channel/medium is “the word about Christ”.

Now coming to the scripture under consideration (Matthew 1); in Verse 5 – 6 reveals something quite fascinating. You will notice that this genealogy (as was customary in biblical time) is replete with male members of the bloodline, but two exceptions pop out in Verse 5; Rechab – the prostitute of Jericho who saved the Israeli spies, and Ruth – who steadfastly and loyally stuck to her mother-in-law, Naomi, even after the death of her husband. This gives us a great lesson – God never forgets the good done. Diligence in seeking the lord never goes unrewarded (Hebrews 11:6).

Take note of verse 6 as well; it doesn’t mention Bathsheba (Solomon’s mother), she was rather referred to as – the wife of Urias, because it was referring to the sin committed! Two lessons can be picked from here; firstly, though God is a merciful and loving father, consequences for our sins and inactions still abound. God is a God of justice, and he certainly didn’t allow the sin against Urias go unpunished. God is very much able to turn what seems like a dead certain disaster into a jaw-dropping testimony. A union initially enmeshed in sin later resulted in an offspring who now was in the bloodline of Jesus!

Verse 19 shows us a lesson on being JUST.

God doesn’t just allow anything happen for the sake of it happening. The angel of the Lord could very well have informed Joseph about the conception of the virgin Mary rather than allowing him find out himself. God didn’t permit it to happen that way, because I feel he had a lesson in store that he wanted to dispense to us. Joseph I must say would have been justified to feel betrayed and to take due actions (by human standard). Joseph didn’t succumb to bitterness or discard his moral values. He still had the intention of treating Mary in the right way!

As Christians, we shouldn’t treat people badly because they treat us that way. We must learn to live above the world/earthly code, which dictates that we give what we get. Treat everyone right! Do good to all men when opportune and not just the ones who treat you right.  

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PRUDENCE: A Key attribute in a God-given Wife

This brief note is inspired from RCCG’s Sunday school manual (2014-2015 edition), from the topic of 26^TH April 2015 – Knowing God’s will in marriage.

Proverbs 19:14 – “House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the LORD”

QUESTION: going by the passage above, would i be right if I came to the conclusion that possessing prudence (as an attribute) is a true test of a Godly woman when seeking out a wife?

WHAT IS PRUDENCE?

Making use of my phones dictionary as a source, I pulled out these definitions;

1.     Discretion in practical affairs

2.     Knowing how to avoid embarrassment or distress; discretion; discreetness; circumspection.

From the passage(Proverbs 19:14), we got one word; from the single word, we have now gotten a collection of words, that might help us gain clarity and better understanding of what to look out for in a desired wife as a Christian man.

Note Prior to this moment, I have always thought that prudence only applied to financial matters!

Now let’s look up another definition of the word “prudence” as gotten from dictionary.com;

·        Prudence as a Noun: the quality or fact of being prudent or wise in practical affairs as by providing for the future.

The above definition is so very rich! It says “wisdom in practical affairs”. This implies that she must be wise in handling daily occurrences that we often encounter (not just in words, but in deeds).

It further goes on to say “as by providing for the future.” That means she must be quite adept at planning. She should be one that is able to take pre-emptive measures in case of any eventuality in the future.

Dissecting the word “Prudence”

To do this, we go back to our start up definition and treat the other words we came across.

PRUDENCE: knowing how to avoid embarrassment or distress; discretion; discreetness; circumspection.

·        Being Circumspect:  Heedful of potential consequences. This implies that she evaluates before acting or making decisions. She makes sure to weigh the pros and cons!

·        Discreetness: Subtly skillful in handling of a situation; delicacy; diplomacy; finesse. The foregoing implies that she must be able to quell any brewing storm or conflict. She mustn’t be a person easily prone to brashness or easily angered. Essentially, we are looking at a PACIFIST here. A DOVISH fellow I must add. She must therefore have the ability to rein in her emotions rather than being controlled by them.

·        Discretion: The trait of judging wisely or objectively. Again, this points to the woman’s emotional stability. In order to be objective, one needs to be able to put emotions to one side, and properly weigh the issues at hand without being sentimental or otherwise swayed my emotional triggers.

Can this single word be the ultimate key in seeking out a Godly wife? That is the million dollar question.

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